I know it has been a while since we updated the blog and I’m sorry ! The last few weeks have seemed a little better for mom. Of course that is from the outside looking in and in no way do I want to minimize what my Mom deals with on a daily basis. The most relieving part for me is that she is not in horrible pain lately which is so gratitude provoking. Her last week off of chemo was the best yet in my opinion, things almost seemed normal even though in the back of your mind there is always that nagging reminder that normal has a whole new meaning in our lives. Mom had said a few weeks ago that she did not feel like any part of her was “her.” Every morning when she looked in the mirror she has this gnawing feeling that she has no idea who is looking back. I can’t even fathom what it must feel like to feel so lost and out of control when it comes to your own body and image. Yet every day she tells you she is “not too bad” or “good.” She shows up to work with a smile on her face looking classy as ever and listens to people complain about every day things like teenagers or bills or bad hair days. Which I know she would be so grateful for right now, and she has complete and honest sympathy for the petty problems that we take for granted and complain about all the time. It makes me want to cry thinking about her amazing strength and attitude, she never complains and is still always trying to be there for everyone else. Yesterday we literally had 3 people in our office who not knowing what mom is dealing with, told her about a friend or loved one who had died from or is “dying from cancer.” I know that they had no idea of the impact of their words but after the first two Mom said to me “ I try so hard to be positive but it is so hard to keep your chin up when you hear stuff like that.” Then the third one came in and said they were heading out of town to see a friend who is “dying “ of cancer. I cringed as I watched my mom’s face and knew the sinking feeling that was taking place inside of her at that very moment. I wanted to snap at the man and say “shut up” “were all dying “ “ is she actually dying ,or do you just assume that because she has cancer” “ everyone who has cancer does not die !” I came to the simple realization that I am sure that throughout life I have innocently said things not being sensitive to the never knowing what people are dealing with. Even though you can never always know what is going on in people’s lives assuming that everything is fine is not the best alternative. When I sold Aflac one of the statistics we used in our presentation was that 1 in 3 people’s lives will be touched or affected by cancer. How many of us are in a room or house right now with at least 3 people in it ? It is so real and so everywhere !! You never know what the future holds and life is so precious you honestly have to just “LIVE” Mom has just started her next round of chemo and then she will get scans again and then we will find out how or if it has affected the cancer at all, then find out what the next step is. Thank you so much to the people that have sent cards and made phone calls or stopped by just to let my Mom know you are thinking about her. You have no idea how HUGE that is and how much she needs that !! Please don’t stop ; )
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